Gianni And The Chocolate Factory
You know the fable about the goose that lays the golden eggs?
The farmer, eager to cash in more quickly, cuts open his prized asset only to discover that she is like any other bird on the inside, and that all he is left with is a dead goose and a distinct lack of eggs of the golden variety going forward.
There was a slightly more relatable – and animal friendly - version on the I Want It Now theme seen in the 1971 Willy Wonka film, when Veruca Salt demanded her overly-indulgent father get her a golden goose forthwith, and ended up taking both of them going down a garbage chute.
Well, now we have one, thanks to the unashamed power grab attempted by Gianni Infantino in the last week or so, one that - according to his colleagues - was all his own work. He didn’t exactly cut the goose open before he was stopped by powerful forces on both sides of the Atlantic, but his idea did go down the crapper. The big question that remains is: will he go with it?
Football has been the goose laying golden eggs for quite a while now. Especially a World Cup goose, given it propensity to attract top drawer sponsors and partnerships. The 2026 four-year cycle might eventually net FIFA (that’s not-for-profit FIFA) a cool $15bn.
You’d think that they might have been happy with that. But it seems it wasn’t quite enough.
Before the tournament had left our consciousness, Infantino was already hatching his next plan; to create a separate company and sell off a 21% stake to private investment. All the members of FIFA had to do was vote yes, and they’d walk away with an even bigger golden egg than they received last time.
Easy, eh?
But not allowing the members, or even members of FIFA’s council, to have a gander beforehand wasn’t the cleverest move. Nor was proposing action that threatened to rip apart the very fabric of the global game; a game that seems to get slightly less beautiful with each and every headline.
It felt like it was possibly a step too far from the get-go. Flush with cash, and after cavorting with Trump in New Jersey, had FIFA’s boss overplayed his hand slightly? It felt like he might have, even when only UEFA – at first – showed opposition. But as UEFA’s 55 members - flying in perfect formation - stood fast, so it became clear that someone might have not read the room carefully enough.
It was perhaps a forgivable misstep. The 2026 tournament has just been held in the capitalist capital of the world and maybe all that cash and the promise of even more got him carried away. It was definitely a sign that the farmer wasn’t prepared to wait for another four-year cycle to pass before the next multi-billion-dollar windfall.
It didn’t help that there would have been many more people in Gianni’s head. The likes of Joshua Kushner and the powerful private investors who can smell money, knew that they had someone more than willing to broker the handover of power.
Price Tag
Football might not be for sale, and it was never really FIFA’s to sell - but it sure as hell looked like it was in the shop window with a price tag firmly attached. There is no surprise that the sharks would be circling either; the hydration ad breaks alone had shown them and FIFA what a World Cup could be worth.
In the hands of non-footballing people, what might that mean? Certainly a 64-team World Cup would be nailed on, and that’s if a 128-team one was deemed too unwieldly. But the size might be the tip of the iceberg; there are all kinds of other ways that – in the wrong hands – the world’s most popular sport could be altered so it was barely recognisable. And the World Cup had shown that previously uncrossed lines no longer seemed to present a barrier.
Thankfully, CONCACAF and the Asian Confederation also stepped in against the proposal but UEFA went a step further. They said that – unless the idea goes away completely – then all of its 55 member countries are out of future World Cups. That’s not unprecedented but to give it context, the last time any nations boycotted a tournament was 1966, and you don’t need me to tell you how many years ago that was.
This was always the critical juncture in any stand-off. FIFA and Infantino need UEFA, or rather they need their 55 members at least. A World Cup without European teams would be like Willie Wonka’s factory without any Oompa Loompas in it. People go there because there are orange people inside that they actually want to be seen with.
It would not be the same. Pretty much worthless. No fan, or sponsor for that matter – anywhere in the world - is interested in a World Cup without a Spain, France and maybe even England. Without a Lamine Yamal, Killian Mbappe or Jude Bellingham.
And World Cups in recent memory have been very Euro-heavy, with 11 of the last 16 semi-finalists, and 5 of the previous 6 winners. Other than European teams, only Morrocco and Argentina have been involved in the last-four since 2014, and the latter tried their hardest not to be involved in the 2026 final either.
It’s was unthinkable that the plans could go ahead without the support of more than half the world, and so it proved when they were scrapped early on Saturday morning. Whether Gianni would fall on his sword, or try to brazenly pretend it never happened - the way President Trump seemed to do when asked about it - is the next instalment in the story. We should know more in the next few days.
Cat Pads
But it has become more than just a rejected idea now. The under-estimation of the way football’s family can unite when under threat - a situation reminiscent of the European Super League rejection - has led to calls for Infantino to resign, and for a wider review of the way the game’s governing body preside over matters and distribute the substantial gains.
It might mean there has to be change. If we accept that FIFA, and any similar organisation, are only ever but custodians of the people’s game, and that game is always bigger than them and certainly any individual, then they either have to demonstrate better stewardship of a global juggernaut of a sport, or it needs to be looked after differently.
This isn’t a new charge either. There have been so many instances - often overlooked because somebody somewhere is on the make - even since the regime change in 2016. After all, not all of the cash that has been collected has found its way to the right people or places . If this fracture creates an opportunity for a reset at the very highest echelons of the game, then a correction in the fairness and transparency of the vast sums already swirling around is as good a place to start as any.
When Infantino came along ten years ago, he promised an end to the corruption that plagued the organisation and thus, the game. No more apartments for cats in Trump Tower. No more mansions for Jack Warner.
But, if anything, they – and he - been even worse. Yes, FIFA have made more money but at what price? Was the bad press, dismal optics and Justin Bieber’s set worth it? The game has been dragged through the mud in so many ways under his leadership, and this latest mess is perhaps the straw that breaks the camel’s back. When Sepp Blatter - no-less - says that this time, it’s gone too far, you know you’re in big trouble.
But is there a way out of this and a chance to fix things for Gianni?
Will he be unable to repair the untold reputational damage and be seen only as a bad egg from now on?
As her father discovered, when that happens, you can’t just yank Veruca back from out of the garbage.
Much depends on whether too far really is too far. Infantino has never done contrition very well. Only last week, he was calling anyone who opposed his idea a hater. Despite some early signs of support from a few members, it will take a lot more for all the ‘haters’ to suddenly start liking again.
And it may be that this proves too much for people to swallow anyway. The game is still very much a golden goose, and it’s got a lot more golden eggs left in it.
The rest of the football family knows it, and won't want to squander that in the long term. Better to keep the goose alive and well.
But if Infantino wants to continue to be the farmer, he might be better getting out the spotlight for a while…
…and maybe even admitting he’s been a bit of a Wonka.
